Monday, 31 December 2012

history doesn't record well-behaved people

As far as new years resolutions go I'm sure we're on the same page. I've not followed a resolution through till the end in all my adult life and I'm in no doubt that nothing's going to change this year.
I feel like it might be something to do with a subconscious hatred towards being told what to do, even if I'm telling myself. Unless you're paying my wages, you can put money on me not doing as I'm told. Just ask my mum.
In light of this, come January first I will be continuing the fun of 2012 with no resolutions or intentions, because let's be one has EVER in the history of the planet ever ever regretted not making new years resolutions. Ever. And plus, I love surprises.
So lets all stumble into 2013 as we usually do, totally mortal, drunk, smashed, gazeeboed, however you like to say it, and quit pretending that this will be the year where we become outstanding citizens.

Friday, 28 December 2012

Make a stranger smile.

Not a lot to report from the last week, I've had to quit the fundraiser stuff because of schedules. I've been pretty sad about it but after a lengthy chat with a homeless man, over a hot cup of coffee on my break at my meat grinding job, I remembered there's people who'll be having a much shitter time this Christmas.
 My mission this Christmas is to make at least one person smile every day. First my new friend Boomer the homeless man, then the sad looking gas station man, and today a chat with a lady working in Tim's. Smiling makes you feel better don't ya know. And plus, it snowed today in Vancouver and I'm one of those annoying folks who's still mesmerised by it.
I've become a warm fuzzy person inside.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

Merry Christmas

First things first...MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! This has absolutely been the best 4 months of my life and yesterday I spent the day doing absolutely nothing, reflecting on the past months travelling.
While it's been pretty tough the past week, being away from home at Christmas, I am living the life I daydreamed about only a year ago. Although it's hard being away from my family and my friends, I know it's necessary and it's all part of the experience, innit.
Last night I went to the Hollywood Theatre for carol singing assuming that there wouldn't be any church-y stuff and boy was I wrong! It didn't even include bogus carols like Rudolf and Jingle Bells. So a long hour and a few preaches later we went for a couple of beers and went home. And we sat eating Roger's chocolates and listening to Rod Stewart's Christmas album {which by the way is epic}.
Hope y'all have full bellies and there aren't too many lonely people this Christmas. 
I'll be spending my first Christmas away from home hopefully eating my own body weight in mashed potato and drinking copious amounts of wine so cheers to that!
How are y'all spending Christmas?

Friday, 21 December 2012

it's a wonderful life

Well hey there all. I know it's been a little while since my last "proper" post but I've not had access to a computer in a little while but hopefully with my 2 JOBS I can get my own jazzy laptop.

WHOA 2 jobs? I hear you ask. That's right. I just got another job as a street canvasser. You know those douchebags that ask you for money on the street for charity EXCEPT my dears, I will not succumb to being said douchebag. I work for a not-for-profit comapny which fundraises on behalf of some very well known orgainisation AND it's not commission based so you know for certain that I do actually care about what I'm talking about.
I'll be fundraising for UNICEF for the first couple of months (assuming I pass the evaluation period)which is saweeet! Who doesn't care about kids, right?
And as my mother said "That's soooo you". Thanks mom.

In this post I'd also like to clarify that I am not working in a meat factory. I work in a rather posh supermarket actually! Paula can laugh from her chocolate shop all she likes but I bet Michael Buble's never been in there! Haters gon' hate.
I made sausages the other day complete with some hefty machinery and a tub of intestines which was sort of awesome. Who can say they've made real sausages from scratch? Well I can. It's actually really good fun and everyone's super nice and I get to cycle to work and back over the Burrard Bridge which is even more awesome.
I've been getting back on the bike a fair bit since I got it but apparently not cycling for 3 months doesn't do wonders on your fitness. There's so many places to cycle here though, the other day I cycled right along the Kitsilano coast from Burrard Bridge to the Regional Park at UBC, Pacific something or other and went past about 6 seperate beaches! I only cycled 16km.
We also went to the Hollywood Theatre on West Broadway to see It's A Wonderful Life this weekend. It was a five dollar donation to get in, 35mm film with scenes that were cut out in the 40's for being too raunchy! I think it was the scenes after their wedding at the house when they kiss or something.

Saturday, 8 December 2012

In the spirit of Christmas...

"Missing someone isn't about how long it's been since you've last seen them or the amount of time it's been since you last talked. It's about that very moment when you are doing something and you wish they were right there with you."

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

What to do when you work part-time or less.

I understand that some people may spend their time differently and I am in no way condoning procrastination, laziness or vanity but sometimes laziness is more fun than actually doing something productive.
Say whutt!
I know most of you check in to see lovely photos of my travels and stuff so if that's what you're here to do, look away now.

SO, what I sometimes like to do is get my camera out. Today I purposely tried to take a photo of my forehead to see how other people see it {photos never lie and all that} and my forehead is definitely a 5-HEAD. What  I also realised is I'm a fairly talented liquid-eyeliner-applier. Life's little surprises.

What I also find myself doing, is spending obscene amounts of time in front of the mirror playing with my hair or my makeup. Today I discovered a freckle on my left ear that I hadn't noticed in 23 years! It's really noticeable now I know it's there.

After putting your hair in pleats {because it was my most stylish childhood hairdo and I have no belongings so really there's not much else you can do} take photos of yourself. The key to posting these is to add some sort of Instagram-y effect so that you look much better and NOTHING like the real you.

  Eat chocolates at midnight just 'cause you can. I found this Roger's Eggnog chocolate on my pillow tonight when I came in from a tiresome 4hour shift at the meat counter, bless. I wonder if she'd appreciate it if I returned the favour with a foot long lobster tail on her pillow.

Stay in your pyjamas ALL day just 'cause you can.
Until you get hungry...

But how do you get to the supermarket when you can't afford a car? Buy a bike. SPEND SPEND SPEND that's what I say! This red lady was $150 dollars including a solid lock and including tax. The guy actually took the price of the bike down from $129 to $100.

The only thing left to do is cook. I made my speciality, Potato Wazzies, a firm favourite in the Peyton household.  A drool inducing combination of potatoes, double cream, cheese, red onion and garlic.

The saddest part about this post is that I genuinely was taking photos of my forehead. Lets all cross our fingers and hope that I get some more hours at work.


Friday, 23 November 2012

How To Celebrate Thanksgiving Like A Rockstar.

First things first:
Buy your dinner. Preferably a Hungry-Man dinner or something of that quality...
 If it's just you then great, it'll fit in the microwave just fine. And while it's cookin' have a think about why you're spending thanksgiving alone. If there are two of you then you just gotta risk the gravy-gravity situation and just squeeze those buggers in...
 Put some classic music on. I opted for 80's Rock...
 Set the table. Simplicity is key...

Make sure your freezer's on, otherwise your ice cream will melt. If this happens, don't fret, canned soup is a splendid substitute... mmmm...
OR if things are really tight, save the cranberries from your Hungry-Man dinner.

In full tradition here are a few things I'm grateful for...
1. I'm grateful that I was brought up to have a mind of my own, not limited in any way, and free to be curious about anything and everything and never indoctrinated in any way.
2. I'm grateful that by luck and luck alone I was born into a country where I can think and say what I want. Thank f*%k for that.
3. I'm grateful for potatoes. All kinds, mainly the fatty kinds. Who the hell likes boiled potatoes though? Mums that's who.
4. I'm eternally grateful for the Irish accent. Turning ladies into sluts one "I'm from Galway" at a time.

How depressing is Christmas looking though, seriously?!! HA.

Thursday, 22 November 2012

So, what do you do?

Things usually go pretty badly for me, in general, and I tend to have no luck whatsoever SO when things are going my way I love to show off and that's why this post is dedicated to my jammy life in the suburbs. I want to show you my new pad and delightful little neighbourhood and I'll finally be that person y'all bitch about 'cause I brag all the time but it's really 'cause you're jealous.
So we got an apartment and we both got're looking at the new meat grinder for Urban Fare supermarket. I don't know what a meat grinder is and the job title is actually 'meat clerk' but I think 'MEAT GRINDER' has a better ring to it, don't you think? Sounds a bit creepy doesn't it? And I don't like touching meat {I boke in my mouth at the mere thought of raw chicken} but I'm bloody excited!
Paula, of course, got a job in Roger's Chocolate Shop filled with chocolates and ice cream and fireplaces and other magical things which fairytales are made of. Typical.
I've not exactly landed the most endearing title.
"So what do you do? *wink wink*"
"MEAT GRINDER". Not fit.
Hopefully the man of my dreams finds the task of grinding beef to be a very important, serious and alluring job and I'll bewitch my customers into thinking it's fascinating and glamorous. <br>
I went for my first run tonight which was entertaining. I don't think I tried my best because I was trying to make my ponytail swoosh and then watching it in my shadow {every girl does that though, right?} and then I was having such a great time singing and the streets are so quiet here and noone knows me so I was really giving it everything. Beyonce got me home. When I got home it felt the same as when I first started cycling so I think I'll keep it up. Saying that, we've just bought ice cream and popcorn. Tell me if you disagree but it seems to me Paula's on a sabotage mission, it was her idea.

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

i think there's a man in the trunk (edited)

Have you ever heard that urban legend about the lady getting chased in her car? Y'know, and the car is frantically beeping at her and flashing the lights...because there's a guy in her back seat. Well.
This just happened {part of it anyway}.We pulled over, they beeped as they went past, we checked the back of the car. No problem, right? WRONG. The other girls have obviously never heard this legend because they never checked the BOOT!!! And for obvious reasons I was too embarrassed to ask. I've spent the last 45 minutes staring at a car trunk from the back seat. I'm not sure what I'm expecting to happen, like the dude's gonna hop out as we're doing 70 down a motorway but you never know. You just never know.

Our road trip to Whistler was great, it was amazing to be back again. I got to relive my near-death-by-bear memories as I stood outside our hotel lobby and told the story of how I narrowly escaped a mauling as it ran through our lobby as I exited the elevator. It was really pretty too.
It was freezing cold but crisp and dry and the sky was clear.